20 things I’ve learnt in 20 years

Dear friends,

our birthdays are special every year since they mark the number of days we’ve been revolving around the sun on our own,   but I believe some dates may hold more  symbolic weight than others.  I’ve been nineteen for the past 364 days, and turning twenty shouldn’t feel any different, but it does. See, nineteen still implies you’re a teen. Twenty makes you 100% officially a young adult. For most days I still feel like a little child who wants to hide from monsters under the bed,  and one thing I’ve learnt is that it’s okay. It’s okay to be unsure of who you want to be. We were born Tabula rasa, blank slate and it is our job to become something. It takes time, but time is running away from us anyway. Below I would love to present you my list of 20 things I’ve learnt in 20 years.  3…2….1…0!

           1. Sometimes the most beautiful moments happen outside of your perfect scenario.   

          2.  It’s okay to be unsure of your direction and desires – everything  takes time.

          3. People can’t fix your brokenness, but they can ease it.

          4. Lavender is perfect for fighting stress, and anxiety.

           5. Hot showers, tea, and beautiful scents can help when you have a  meltdown.

             6. Learning a foreign language opens a whole new world of   possibilities.

7. Having a gratitude journal makes everything seem better.

             8. Forever is just a word.

             9. Neither success nor failure is final.

             10. If you are your own best friend you’ll never lose.

             11. Youtube is a perfect classroom for learning everything,              especially languages.

            12. “You miss 100% shots you don’t take” is a motto to live by.

            13. No book you’ve ever read is a waste of time. The worst one will teach you how not to write.

           14. If somebody destroys you and chances you give them… you’re  allowed to let go. Even if you love them, even if they are family –          don’t burn out for people who only give a damn about themselves. 

           15. Being humble and kind never goes out of style. 

         16. Becoming better is a non-stop fight. There are no breaks.

         17. At the end of the day, you’re not what people think of you, but what you think about yourself. Don’t be your own enemy.

         18. Hard work is the answer to your prayers.

        19. Appreciate people who love you when you’re not so lovable, and  when you are loveable. They are here to stay.

        20. You can’t plan your life out because you’re a work in progress, not a report. Breathe in, breathe out and adapt to whatever is  coming.

I’ve been alive for 7303 days, but I definitely have to learn more than 7000 things about the world to even say I understand it a bit. That’s okay, too. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Happy birthday to me, and happy birthday to you – we’re doing just fine even when we think we’re not. Breathe in, breathe out… As Kimmy Schmidt says – sometimes you just have to take life 10 seconds at a time.

“I learned a long time ago that a person can stand just about anything for 10 seconds, then you just start on a new 10 seconds. All you’ve got to do is take it 10 seconds at a time.”  – Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Best wishes,

Jessie

5 terribly awful symptoms of being in love!

Butterflies in your belly, feeling absolutely over the moon, daydreaming from dawn to dusk – all of these may ring a bell if you have ever been in love. You want to sing and dance, jump and scream and tell everyone how happy you are. Your voice gets louder and more dreamy when Ariana Grande sings “you got me daydreaming” and suddenly you see the face of your one and only. Many of us have been there, and as much as these things may feel amazing, there’s one little “but”. Here is our “BUT” – all these symptoms of being in love exist, but so do less awesome of them. Call it black magic, but I’ll call it true, every coin has more than one side, it actually has two! Here are  5 terribly awful symptoms of being in love!

1. Your voice wants independence too much!

Here we go – conflicts inside our bodies do happen, but it’s a new kind of disobedience. Your voice doesn’t feel like listening to a wiser brain, who knows life better, so it keeps doing its own thing. You want to control it, but it doesn’t care about what you want and tests its complicated range of actions. It seems to switch between few basic modes such as: “Let’s get too shaky”, “too pitchy”, or maybe “let’s see how long can we be silent”. Sometimes it also says awkward things aloud. How about not making me feel so powerless, my dear voice? We both only live once!

2. Roads in your brain get too crowded

Let’s visualize a situation: your brain was working just fine, and now it loads longer than Internet Explorer! Your software’s okay, but the lovebug does its work perfectly. It takes much longer to come up with a nice sentence and respond, and your senses make everything worse! You feel too much for your system to handle everything. Crowded brain roads don’t care!

3. Red’s in style for too long

No matter if you are happy, embarrassed or just in awe, redness may be only one second away, and nothing will save the day because there’s no “stop being red!” button. It may be cute, but if you redness makes you look like a tomato (Like me!), it’s much less fun. Tomatoes all over the world may force be with You!

4. Time loses its substance
You meet at 5, and a minute after it’s already 10. You look at your watch twice, but it’s not broken. It tells the truth, and you have no idea how it is even possible. What’s wrong with being in love dear time? Don’t get too jealous, eventually, I’ll be yours. Everything takes time!

5. Too much or too little – no magical enough!
Balance? What’s that? Being in love, in its first phase, is all about walking between “too much” or “too little”. Too little of time spent together, and too much desire to be together all the time! Almost enough’s never enough, too. Oh love, why are you so irresistible?

 

That would be all for today. Since exams are coming, I won’t be posting much until they’re over. This is the text I wrote few months  ago, but I hope you liked it. When I finally can start living again… I’m going to write a lot. I really mean it. There are going to be lots of book and movie reviews, and posts about my favorite apps! I hope you’re having an amazing January and thank you for your support!

Yours truly,

Jessie